Ready?

I dont know... I'm uncertain....


Am I really ready for something that big? Because.... I have been having notions of doing something big... I'm scared sometimes.. to commit.. but at the same time, I believe I'm ready mentally... financially, definitely not yet. hmmm...

This year has been great for me. Despite the downs and the shitholes I've been in and out of, it's jes been awesome. When 2009 was all f***ed up, 2010 has been awesome. I'm thankful for every single person and thing He has blessed me with. Most times I tend to lose strength. But i try to get back up on my feet.

You see, my problem isnt about losing strength. It's about GETTING BACK UP. it's about pulling myself out of that shithole. People can throw me ropes and sticks and give me motivation, but in the end, it's all up to me whether I want to take them or not. And i guess the worst shithole was last 2 months i think. that was the WORST. i was zombiefied. ugh.

But now, I do believe, I do have faith, I do have hope (though not so much)... It's all in a matter of time... So far, it has been good. Being loved, loving... :)

Like they say, kalau dah jodoh tak kan ke mana.. and mama keeps telling me, "korang asek gadoh je.. tu makna nnti kawen tau.." Ah. Mama doakan je. Saya terima. :)

He told me isnt perfect... nobody is.. everybody was born with flaws. That's the beauty of human beings. And babyboy, you may not be perfect, but to me, you're everything i've always wanted... :)