Farewell. You Have Been Great.

You have been amazing! Truly, I have no regrets meeting you...


But, as they say, all good things will come to an end....


*sighs*
















AND MORE NEW & GOOD THINGS WILL COME!! =) 2010, you have been great! I will treasure every memory! WOOHOO!


Happy new year ppl! 2011!






PS: girls, 5 years on, we are still together.. LOVE U!!!


and to the lover, thank you! 8 months have been bliss! I love u!

Wajar?

Wajarkah aku berperasaan begini...


Oh tidak...


Aku tidak mampu.

Aku tidak mahu.


Wahai duka, pergilah engkau.

Untitled.

Running, running
Concrete
Pavement

Unsure
What's ahead

Lost
In the light of
LOVE
No Direction

Can't see
Blinded by
The rays of deception

I'm afraid.

No matter how brave
I try to be.


Wheed.

Standards

You didnt use to set standards for me.


What's up? Comparing me to other people eh?


Oh well, I have never been good. Never been perfect.



I'm hurt. Very hurt.

The Wheels on The Bus

They go round and round..


Life's like that too.. one minute u're up, the other u're down..


I'm feeling like that.. the whole of last week, i was all crappy.. and today, even... for a while..


But.... *takes a deep breath*...i cant let emotions take over me.. they will kill me. i have to be strong.. and face everything without fear, sadness. i MUST.

i miss hanging out with the girls.. and the 2 guys.. miss u all very much. cant wait to see everybody! :)













and my dearest, i love u. no matter what.

Fallen Crystals

Cry. Cry as much as I want... That's all I want to do right now...


Crying is the best thing anyone can do... when everything else fails to help. =(



Oh Allah, please.. make this feeling go away.

Give & Take

Love.. is not just about taking...

It is also about giving...


Compromise, as they say.


Sometimes... it drives people crazy when there is no compromise.













And most times, it pisses me off.

Cold Turkey

I'm having this bout of withdrawal symptoms...

1) Headaches
2) Seeing alphabets
3) always in search of anything hardcover or not...
4) constant need of poring over books of any kind



DARN...



I NEED TO READ!!!


hell, my books are still boxed up. i need new books. crime fiction, horror, vampires, werewolves.. ANYTHING!! BOOOOKKKSSS!!

Bloody Retards.

Some of you might know, some of you might not give a f--- about it. but, i have resigned from my job.. and u noe, no matter when i leave, those bloody retards will still make use of its people. -___-" i dont wanna rant about work no more.. takes up too much precious blog space.


aaaaaanyways. it's december people-O! HAPPY NEW MONTH!! and it's going to be the end of 2010.. FUUUHYOOOHHH! :P bloody sods.. jes a few months ago, it was January. aaaaand.. december is always the time for festivity.. CHRISTMAS!! =D not that i celebrate it.. but boyfie came up with the idea.. that we should jes exchange gifts for the fun of it.. havent we been doing that the past 8 months? hehehehe.. crikey.. i dont know what to get him.. bahahaha..

soooo.. i'm jes going to wait.. till end of the month.. and i'll recollect memories.. to blog about.

as for now, i'm contented.. with the loves.. =) aaaaand.. BACKSTREET BOYS!















no one or nothing can come between us. =)

Shallow People

You keep saying, "I look fat.." "I look ugly.. eeww.." "my tummy's bulging..."


Reality is, you're a size 3 for goodness sake!! SIZE 3! u're thin!!!

You put up stuff like that... how do u think plus sized people wld feel?? how do u think ppl like me wld feel??

It's because of people like you... shallow bitches like you.. that plus sized people have low morale.. low self esteem!! Bitch, open up ur EYES.. and ur BRAINS!!!





F*** u.

Mine

"You are the best thing that's ever been mine."


Seriously... relationships... proper ones.. are never right without fights... it would feel too fantastic without fights... and they are not good too if the couple keeps fighting...


we had our fair share.. cold wars, arguments disagreements..

but in the end, after all that crap, you know he's still there.. cos the feelings for him never change.. trust me. i know. =)


i love you babyboy.

Clawing.

Creeping crawling
Onto this red muscle
Raking its nails
Through every vein
Injecting pain

There is this being
Clawing into my heart
Not even knocking
Just

Clawing
Clawing
Clawing.

Something evil.
Something scary.
Something....


Wheed, 17 November 2010

The Sweetest Thing

I told him... I wanted an owl stuffed toy... preferably Eglantine from Legend of The Guardians-Owls of The Ga'hoole...

I didnt think.. he would actually would have gone to SEARCH for it for ME.. at Toys R Us.. when he told me, he looked everywhere at TRU for it.. I was so touched.. sighs. I dont mean to brag, but I gotta admit.. he's the best boyfriend in the world.. =) he didnt find it by the way..

still...Mahal kita... =)


and jes for your info, if u have noooo idea what i'm talking abt.... lookie down..

isnt she the CUTEST thing???!!!

I love owls.. and I WANT MY OWL STUFFED TOY! *stamps foot*

Photo credit: www.impawards.com/2010/legend_of_the_guardians_the_owls_of_gahoole_ver6.html

LOVE.

Because as modern as the world gets, I still believe that LOVE will conquer EVIL. So why wait? Spread some loving today. The more, the better. =)


Pic credit: www.margonaut.com.

Different

I dont know. It seems different these days... Or is it just me?


Please let all these doubts go away. =(














I will never stop loving you.

Bliss.

Happy

Happy

Happy.

=)

An Amazing Journey

This heart, it beats, beats for only you.



My Heart- Paramore.















=)







It has been an amazing journey the past 6 months. I hope this journey with you carries on.... maybe till Death do us part. ily.

Quit It.

Quit staring.

I'm only human.

Thankful

1) For my family...

2) For my life...

3) For the best friends in the whole wide world..

4) For my boyfriend.. For being one of the most amazing man.. after being given all those jerks and assholes.

5) For my job

6) For the education I got and am receiving

7) For being able to live in a safe country..

8) For being able to breathe and live to see every day...

9) So that I can be thankful for all the above mentioned. :)













I love u lovelights. :) each & every one of u.

Loved.

He came back... with lots of stuff. Hahaha..

I was so happy to see him. 4 days, seemed like 4 years or something. :P

Anyways, he brought back what I really wanted, Krabi's sand. =) I'm sentimental like that. That's the most precious thing out of all the stuff he got me.

I've missed him so much. I couldnt go to sleep without hearing his voice. :P Anyways, he's here, back home. Every moment spent with him is a treasure I will keep forever.

Go ahead, puke, vomit, laugh. I'm telling the whole world that I love my boyfriend.. more than I love my life. =)




Because you're amazing, just the way you are.

No Love

Eminem rocks the shit out of my socks.

Shouldn't

He said I used to be a simple girl.

Now i ask for flowers.


I'm horrible. I'm really horrible.



It was never about another party. It was never about you.


This time it's me. I'm petty. I'm fucked up.





I told u... I could never make u happy. =(

Bad Girl

No, this is not going to be about K-Pop.


This is about a girl, whom I am very very very close to. She is a nice person... I guess. She can be very nice. her smile, people have said, is beautiful. "killer smile" to put it right.

This girl.. she has a boyfriend. A very loving boyfriend. who dotes on her and treats her like a princess. She tells me she appreciates everything about him. She loves him so much, more than her life.

But, the past one week, she doesnt know why.. she keeps hurting his feelings. she does feel guilty about it. her boyfriend tells her she's selfish and conceited. and its true, she tells me. she is selfish.

truth be told, she didnt do it on purpose. she tells me she's just looking for attention. she's been feeling lonely the past one week, and all she wants is just ONE day with her boyfriend. she wishes she could spend mornings to night with him. she wishes he would surprise her some days when they meet, flowers would be wonderful. she wishes he wouldnt tell her to go out with another guy.

this girl i know, she's beautiful in her own way. but that selfishness of hers.. she needs to eradicate it.. else it might affect her loved ones and herself.






















and i promise you, i will love you.. till my last breath.

Kekata Mereka

Mereka kata aku buta
Mereka kata aku celik
Mereka kata aku bisu
Mereka kata aku petah

Kata
Kata

Kata

Mereka kata itu ini
Hanya tahu mengata


Tetapi
Apa kata mereka
Tentang


M e r e k a ?

Wheed: 15/10/10

If Only...

...the world would stop hating, fighting, bashing each other up...

and instead start loving each other..

it would make everything alright.


Or maybe, if it would just pretend to love. for just ONE minute....



(At times like these, I wish I could be in ur arms, just be with you, and forget about the world. To have you plant small kisses in my hair. Everything would turn out alright.. even if it was just for a while. )


I'm on an emotional rollercoaster; I hate PMS.













Have I told you, that I'm in love with you?

Swinging

if you're wondering if it's my status..



you're wrong.


what i meant by swinging is my mood.


currently, i'm all jumpy and happy.



tomorrow... ?

Flaws

Nobody is perfect.

Everybody has their flaws.. Including me. Which makes us all human.

I dont know. Sometimes, we are too blinded by what we think is right, that we dont actually see, that what we do, is actually irritating or annoying to another party.

All this while, I thought that my actions were cute.. that they were totally endearing. But i didnt know.. after a while, it is seen as a flaw. =(

I'm such a loser. a big fat loser.

=(

Just one of the days.... When shit is all I'm eating up.


And sometimes, when u try to care, people dont even wanna reciprocate. So how?





Haiz.

Love.

What more could I ask for??

2 lovely friends, food, ice cream, lepak session, and jln2 with saz's family.


LOVE.

Emotional

Isnt that the whole point of this blog? To be emotional?

I'm crying for no apparent reason.

Sad Malay love songs are tearing my heart up into pieces...




Damn it Wheed..the hell happened to ya?

Wary

I'm so afraid.


Since that incident, it has not been the same.

I know it will take time.

But still.


:(

Instinct

No wonder.


My female instinct was right.


F**K CHEAPOS.

Maturity.

Thank you to everybody.

A year wiser.

=)

Muy Feliz

Last night was one of the most beautiful nights with you love.


I could never ask for anything more.


Maybe.. jes lots of loving. :)

___________________________________________________


I cant wait to see my LADIES on SUNDAY!! yay yay jalan raya!! WOOHOO!!

and oh, somebody's turning a year older. sheeesh.

Down

When the emotional rollercoaster is going too fast. Way too fast.


Since when do I know the feeling of jealousy? Since when did I learn being overprotective?

Today, wasnt a good day.

I dont need another shitty assed day like this. Please.




Please.

-___-"

Interpret.


I really cannot take this.


PMS? Maybe.

Salam Syawal

This post, is going to be in Malay, so pardon me.

Kehadapan sabahat-sahabatku,

Sempena Syawal yang akan datang esok, aku menyusun 10 jari tangan dan kaki memohon ampun dan maaf... Sekiranya selama persahabatan kita pada tahun 2010 ini telah membawa kekecilan hati kepada kalian; angkara mulut aku yang laser, kelakuan aku yang gedik atau irrits.

Aku bersyukur atas kehadiran kalian semua dalam hidup aku. Terima kasih kerana menerima aku seadanya. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir & Batin, Jasmani & Rohani. :) Aku sayang kalian, lebih dari aku sayangkan hidup aku. :)

Dan kepada kekasihku,

nanti I call you la ucapkan! LOL! :)

The Big Q

I didnt think he would actually think about it.


The big plan. The big question.


Dear Allah, please help me make the right decision.



:/

Ready?

I dont know... I'm uncertain....


Am I really ready for something that big? Because.... I have been having notions of doing something big... I'm scared sometimes.. to commit.. but at the same time, I believe I'm ready mentally... financially, definitely not yet. hmmm...

This year has been great for me. Despite the downs and the shitholes I've been in and out of, it's jes been awesome. When 2009 was all f***ed up, 2010 has been awesome. I'm thankful for every single person and thing He has blessed me with. Most times I tend to lose strength. But i try to get back up on my feet.

You see, my problem isnt about losing strength. It's about GETTING BACK UP. it's about pulling myself out of that shithole. People can throw me ropes and sticks and give me motivation, but in the end, it's all up to me whether I want to take them or not. And i guess the worst shithole was last 2 months i think. that was the WORST. i was zombiefied. ugh.

But now, I do believe, I do have faith, I do have hope (though not so much)... It's all in a matter of time... So far, it has been good. Being loved, loving... :)

Like they say, kalau dah jodoh tak kan ke mana.. and mama keeps telling me, "korang asek gadoh je.. tu makna nnti kawen tau.." Ah. Mama doakan je. Saya terima. :)

He told me isnt perfect... nobody is.. everybody was born with flaws. That's the beauty of human beings. And babyboy, you may not be perfect, but to me, you're everything i've always wanted... :)

SentiMENTAL

This week, I have been strangely hyper at one point, and at a down low at another point. I would be smiling and laughing for a while, then all of a sudden my mood would jes drop to minus zero, and at that moment, EVERYTHING would seem wrong.



I guess I'm jes being sentiMENTAL. hahahaha...



Anyways, the day was spent with Saz.. thanks for accompanying me to the library... After that, we went gallivating in town.. i got myself a cheapo ring and a bling2 hairband for Raya.. saz got herself a ring and 3 bangles. hahahah..



I have 2 assignments due back to back in 2 weeks. isnt it craaaazzzyyy?? hahahah..





Ok. now for the sicko part. I'm in love. madly in love with my prince... i couldnt ask for anything more!!!!! :D







"Love doesnt make the world go round. It makes the ride worthwhile."- Franklin P. Jones.

SEPTEMBER!

FIRST! HAPPY NEW MONTH MONSTAAAASSS!! =D It's September,bloody hell! how time goes and keeps on going.. like it would never ever stop! pish!

Woots! September... 3 more months, and it'd be December already.. Anyways, Ramadhan has come almost to the end.. we are at the 23rd day already... Masya Allah.. seriously, I really do feel like it's going super fast. Would there ever be a day where time would actually stop? Hmm..

Anyways, the days have been mad mad mad. I dont know, but I tend to snap easily these days.. it's been loco.. work! i cant take it.. haiz...

I really need a break. Somewhere far away where I wont think of work and school and relationship issues. AAAAAHHHH!!

OH YEAH! this is my 100th post! AWESOME!






I heart you, like i always do. :)


and BABES!! I MISS YOU ALLS!!!

Selfish Desires

I dont like being selfish. In fact, I hate it. Selfishness makes me feel like I'm one of the ugliest human beings ever.

However, it is in human nature to be selfish. It's how u keep it in check. Everybody doesnt want to be called a selfish bugger/buggeress.

There are times when it calls for selfishness. Like the saying goes, desperate times call for desperate measures.

And yeah, if it calls for it, I'm going to unleash my selfish demons. I DONT GIVE A FUCK.

Complications

This post, I dedicate to a very very very close friend of mine, whose blog i read a few minutes ago.

The past 21 years that I have existed on Earth, I have never known what LOVE was. Most of the time, it was just pure infatuation. The typical high school crush, the normal "Ohhh he's sooo cute!!" kind of thing.

And then 2010 came. I got into an official relationship. Dont get me wrong. I'm thankful everyday for my boyfriend. He's one of the most amazing people I have ever known... The past 4/5 months have been a crazy ride... I should say it's more on a mid level kind of crazy. We have our awesome high times... But sometimes, we hit rock bottom. and that's when a relationship gets complicated. Ours is no different. We have had quarrels, fights, not so much. A lot of misunderstandings. A lot of EGO. It scares me sometimes.. seriously.

Sometimes, I hate him for being who he is.... But most times, I swoon over the fact that he loves me for who I am. He accepts me for who I am. I could never ask for anyone else... That's how much I am in love with him. I am not ashamed to say it here.

Being in love.... it's indescribable. You laugh, you smile, you cry, you get mad, you get crazy... Love is all that-an emotional rollercoaster. I might not be experienced like some of our friends. But I know how it feels like. and u would feel it too... :) so dont worry abt forgetting how its like to be in love... u'll know.. it'll just happen. :)


and as for you babyboy, i love u!

Quitter

I'm a quitter.

Bang. Bang.

One down, and maybe more to come.


Thank you, love.

Nope.

No, he doesnt have to know.


This pain, only He knows.

Sad.

How it hurts me to know.

How it hurts me, you will never know.

I just knew someday it will happen.

I never bothered to give a 2nd glance.


This love I have for you, is all I have. Nothing more.

To my girls, please dont hate him. I just need u to be behind me. I believe in Allah SWT.





For now, I'm sweeping everything away. I forgive you. But I wont forget.


I love u.

Ragu-Ragu

Sebelum ini kau yang ragu padaku

Sekarang giliran aku ragu padamu.

Mungkin kerana peristiwa tempoh hari membuat aku rasa begini.

Tapi,wajarkah?

Sedangkan aku tahu kita saling menyayangi?

Sedangkan aku tahu kau tidak mahu kehilangan aku.

Aku bingung. Kadang kala, dunia aku rasa berputar apabila kau berada di sisi.

Dan kadangkala, aku rasa bagaikan gelap.

Mungkin aku belum lagi bisa melupakan. Aku mahu ia jadi sejarah.

Mudah mudahan, Tuhan membantu aku dalam bulan mulia ini.


Aku sayangkan kau sepenuh hati. Lebih dari aku menyayangi diri aku sendiri. <3

Ramadhan

Happy fasting to all my Muslim peeps! :)



Anyways, i do pray that this year's will be a meaningful one. :) I have a feeling He is going to test me (other than others) like never before. Insya Allah, i will have the strength to fight!!


I love you. :)

Double Fs

Friends=FUN!

Awesome day yesterday evening with the MOB. hahaha.. everyone came in black tops wld u believe it? We had MFM for dinner, filled our tummies till our esophagus got choked. After that, i got a bit pissed cos we couldnt find a right spot to chillax like we always do.. lots of roads and walkways were closed cos of YOG and NDP and God-knows-what else!!

So after doing lots of turns here and there, we chilled at Esplanade, and Clarke Quay. Photos, photos, as per normal. And then home. :D

I could never ask for anything else.. friends.. i love u guys so much!! See u guys again soon ok!! for break of fast! :D Insya Allah!


Anyways, today, i stayed home.. (good girl mah!).. cleaned up my room... :D lots of dust siakz. haha.. i got a headache deciding how to store my sneakers. hahaha.. and then i got my hair cut. i HATE my fringe. mcm budak bodoh seyyy!! hahahha.. my boyfie's so gonna kill me. :P


Tmr, is National Day! HAPPY 45th Birthday SIngapore!!!! :D PLans with the boy. Picnic at Sentosa and then maybe movie.. and then maybe chillout somewhere to catch fireworks. hehehehe.. i miss u aahhhh!!





HAPPY RED & WHITE DAY PPL!!!! Muacks!

Being Lovey Dovey.

Love is all about being happy most times. Especially when it comes to eating. HAHAHA.

And LOVE is all about being there for each other when needed. Cos it takes 2 hands to clap.

To those of you who cannot stand mushy stuff, kindly leave this blog. If you can still take it, thank you very much. Because tonight, I'm feeling all mushy and lovey dovey. :P

No words can describe how much I love you sayang. Only He knows how much I love u. :D

SZSRN, DONT KILL ME. MUAHAHAHAAH!

Stupidity.

The past 2 nights have been a hell ride.


Last night, I found out something which made me numb. I didnt know what or how to feel. I decided to take matters up another step. but that one phone call prolly rescued me. It's weird now.. maybe it will take time. the pain that was caused is still here. but i know it will ease. i apologise to those whom i've wronged emotionally. but still, Death is inevitable.

anyways... maybe this is a lesson, a test from God to see how strong I am, to see how strong we are to face it. i blame u, i blame her. i blame myself. i blame myself for not being caring enuf. i blame u for having put urself in a vulnerable situation. i blame her for being an opportunist in a negative way. i dont know what really happened, let God see it in His eyes. i dont want to know. All i want is to put this behind us. To err is human as they say. And to forgive is prolly one of the greatest strengths a human has. I have never loved someone so much.

I love u babyboy.


And to my friends, you know who you are. I'm sorry for making u cry, sorry for making u worry. i love u a lot. more than i love myself.





I just wanna be loved. Nothing more.

:(

U ask me what kind of a boyfriend you are- making me cry all the time.

Now I ask you, what kind of a boyfriend are you- hurting my feelings the way you are now?




I'm insignificant to you.... I'm asking you now, what is there in your declarations of emotions?


Please God, help me.

Not Again.

Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins.

I hate it when I look at other people and scour over the success that they have attained. I should be there.. just like them. Same place. I have similar dreams, so why arent I there yet? I feel stagnant working in this line. Yes, true that I am doing my degree... But it seems like it's forever for me to FINALLY achieve my dreams of teaching in a proper school.

I want to change environment... I NEED to change my environment, or else my brain is just not going to grow. I hate this feeling. This feeling of envy, which will in turn become rage.

I wasnt this competitive before. So why now? And please, I dont want this to happen anymore. This rage. This pain. This war between myself.





:(

Positivity

"You're waiting for a train. You know you hope where this train will take you. But it doesnt matter...." -Inception


The movie was super. So super that I didnt mind watching it twice. Heehee.

Anyways, I'm tired of thinking too much. Why do we women have to have intuition? It drives me crazy. I'm tired of crying also. So as for now, I'm just gonna go with the flow. Whatever happens, I will take it in my stride, I will take a leap of faith.

Dib was right. You gotta love urself before loving anybody else. This should be making us stronger.

ANYWAY. i cant wait to meet my gfs and bfs on the 7th!! Wheeeee!!! i miss u guys so much!




Ok dah.
















Mine, is considered a personal success. :)

Afraid

I cry myself to sleep.

I think about things I dont dare think about.

I'm afraid.

That U will leave.

Walking Away

Dont walk away from me... just because....


I feel like we are apart.


I dont need this.

No more fuckery. Enough is enough.




And babyboy, I love u.

Disappointment

with myself.. for breaking my promise to myself.


with myself.. for not being able to be the best girlfriend.


with myself.. for having a childish attitude.


with myself... for having a low self esteem.


with myself.. for not being able to withstand shit.






What is trust anyway?

What Do I Do?

..... when I am nice to people, but they just don't get it?

.....when I try my best not to stuff my face with food, but I am always feeling hungry?

.....when I act like a normal person, but people look like I'm one helluva alien?

..... when I get sick of being chubby?







:(

Shagged,but HAPPY

I

am

sooooooo

POOPED.



BUT.



I'm


seeing


babyboy

tomorrow!!


YAHOOOO!

Us.

"What kind of a boyfriend makes his girlfriend cry almost every night?"




Me: One who loves his girlfriend very much.




I love u, babyboy. More than anything else on Earth.

Hates

I hate having squabbles. I hate feeling apart. I hate feeling disoriented. I hate feeling ugly. I hate being suicidal.

But then again, nothing's perfect. That's what makes it perfect.

:(

Trust

U dont have that in me.

So all this while...??

On Pills.

Happy pills I mean. Hee. First of all, Happy New Month. It's July y'all. hehehehe!

Had an awesome foursome day with the beautiful ladies. Just the 4 of us, nobody else. hehehe... Long John Silvers, Starbucks and Al Majlis witnessed our laughs and love...

Thank you for being part of my life. Please dont ever walk away. I dont need anymore walking out on me. I love u ladies. MOre than Lady Gaga. :D

Wheed.

PS: I'm back to my roots..hip hop. i LOVE Eminem!!




... but not more than how much I love u, syg. hehehe..

AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Wonderwall.

I didnt think it would last this long. Hahaha. Most of mine wouldnt last 1 month.

Thank you, Allah for this feeling for him. For shutting my eyes from other men when I'm with him. For giving this love.


And man, I need a darned holiday!

Happy Pill!

All Praises to Allah SWT.

Everything turned out alright! :)


And please, give them strength, happiness. I love them too much to lose them.

Unmotivated.

Help.

Confused & Pissed.

What the fuck is it that u want from us?

Like I said, I dont favor the art of spitting and licking it back. I dont CONDONE it.

You should have thought about it TWICE before deleting us...and ignoring us.How the hell do u expect us to understand anything,if u dont explain it to us.

Ikutkan hati aku, aku mcm nk maki hamun kau la perempuan. Sorry ah. Aku tak mampu nk terima kau balik sbg kwn. Dah puas aku nasihat, kau tak nak terima. Kau nak jugak ikut hati kau. Terserah.

Make up ur fucking mind.

Please..?

Wouldnt it be nice to have 24 hours with you?

Time and tide wait for no man as they say.

Every second spent with you is a moment I treasure....

I love you, babyboy.

-- MOre than my hair. :)

Rindu

Hati merintih pilu
Jiwa meronta meminta lepas
Dari genggaman yang membinasa
Genggaman kerinduan

Kerinduan sang pecinta
Air mata membasahi pipi
Apabila dia meratap cintanya
Yang jauh entah di mana

Rindu.
Satu seksa batin
Penangan cinta.

Wheed, 18/06/10

Crap

I'm not even going to go there. Having you do this us is totally crap. Told us we dont understand... of course we wont.. you dont even BOTHER to TELL US!!!

The more I think about it, the angrier I will get. I'm just thankful for the friends that i have NOW. grr..




PS: babyboy, i wuv u. :)

Today

The day was spent basking, dipping, and splashing around @ Wild Wild Wet. Met an old friend. Changed. Aint surprised. Just because.

Sometimes I'm so afraid of what will happen tomorrow. I dont want to lose anything that I have right now. Please?

I love you.

Of Sunshine

The past few days have been amazing. The weather has been awesome... I could never ask for more; the family, the friends, the boyfriend, The life I have. I thank Allah for everything He has blessed me with.

My sister was hospitalised a couple of days before- high fever & fits. It never occured to me that it would happen to her. My brother, had fits when he was little, too. Cos i thought, usually, it jes happend to baby boys. I admit, as calm as I was, i was scared. Scared that anything would happen to Alya.. my sister... the love of my life. In fact, I could never imagine if anything would happen to ANY one of my family members. I love them so much.

Every day, I pray that I would open my eyes and see each of their faces. I know it is not going to last... But at least, when I see their faces, it gives me hope, happiness and lots of love.

Thank You, Allah SWT for everyone, for everything You have given me. Right now, I could never ask for anything else. Except,,maybe if You could grant my friend, Hunnymadu, happiness.

And to my other friends, thank you for being my sunshines! May Allah Bless You! :)

Babyboy, I could nvr ask for more. I love you!



I LOVE ALL OF YOU! =)

Princess.

Everything is awesome.

I feel like a princess when I'm with him. Thank you, Allah! Syukur, Alhamdulillah!

I love you.

More than I love my hair!

:)

Nothing

You are nothing.

You are heartless.

You have lost our respect.

Kurang ajar. Biadab. Tidak ada sivik.

Perangai kanak-kanak Ribena siol.

KNNCB.

A Touching Note

The babe: Why am I in love with you,boy?

The boy: Cos I'm smart like Einstein, funny like Jim Carrey, hot like Brad Pitt. Most importantly, it's cos your heart knows my feelings for you are genuine.



Thank you, God. He's one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

I'm spreading lots & lots & lots of love and happiness!! WOOHOO! :)

Maaf

Maafkan aku jika kau tersinggung
Maafkan aku jika kau rasa terasing
Maafkan aku jika kau terhiris
Maafkan aku jika kau terluka

Tiada niatku untuk membuat begitu
Tiada niatku untuk menyakiti hatimu
Tiada niatku untuk membuat kau marah
Dengan sikapku

Maafkan aku sahabat.
Maafkan aku.

Wheed, 29/5/10


To you, my friend, I'm sorry if his presence made you feel left out. There never was ONE time I intended to make u feel like a lamp post. :( I still love you, gf. 4 years. Nothing could ever separate us. not even him.

Contradictory

I dont get some people. They say one thing at one time, and then another in another time.

Can they please stop being contradicting? It confuses even me.

I shall just let it go, because I dont need these sort of people in my life.

You lead ur own life,I lead mine. Oh wait, you dont HAVE a life.

All work and no play makes you a dull human being; that is, if you can even be put in the 'human being' category.

I'm foul. *shrugs*

The Truth

it hurts.. most times.


*smug smile*


I shall leave it to Him.

Nothing

I have nothing to say to you.

Is This It?

I'm kind of feeling like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.


And i really HATE skinny girls who are fucking SKINNY say that they are fat. Obnoxious and fucking stupid.

Bliss , Blessed.

I love you.... for being who you are.

I love you... for accepting my flaws.

I love you...for appreciating what I have.

I love you... for making me love you.

I love you, babyboy. so much.





Gawd. *guffaws* I never thot THIS day- all this GUSHING abt the bf wld come!! BAHAHAHA!!

this blog, is supposed to be EMO!!!

Wheed.

Tears,.

It's funny how in one moment, everything is bliss- marshmallow clouds, sweet rain, cool sun, etc.., And then in another moment, all that bliss crumbles into rubble, bcome ruins.

I have never asked for changes, because, if people really know me, I LOATHE changes. i think everybody hates it, but most people are able to adapt.

Yes, I am thankful for whatever and who He has blessed me with. But right now, i feel like i dont deserve all this. :(

I wish i could vanish. Please.

Random Blabbery Part 2

1. Picnic with the ladies + 2 guys were awesome!! :)

2. I cld never ask for anything more from God.

3. I'm feeling so loved. hee.

4. Thank you, God.

5. i need a bag. a nice vintage looking bag.

6. and a black dress. a nice one.

7. work... dreads me.

8. you can go and mati.

9. i wont care.

10. wats next>? ur kucing beranak is it? sial.


FUCKERSSS.

Ooh Whee!!

Thank you Allah, for giving me the best gifts ever.. Family, friends.. and him.

:)

The Name Of The Game

Love.


Broke up.


Healing.


New found.


Confused.


Time.

Random Blabbery 1

1. I NEED to GIG. PLEASE.!!

2. Salary, please come quick..

3. Cos i need new jeans, new work pants and a new bag.

4. Love?

5. sure as hell doesnt feel like it.

6. can u fall for 2 ppl?

7. cos its funny.

8. i hate my back ache.

9. gettin old.

10. shit.

Different

It has been a week.. I dont feel warmth anymore.

It's different. Is this truly love?

I'm with you, but I dont feel like it's true.

ugh. Did I make the right choice?? Or was it a move too soon?

Kinda Long

That yearning.

That longing.

That desire.

It's becoming dangerous.

Every minute.

I wish time would wait.

Even for a second.

Picture Perfect

I ended it 2 days ago.

I thought I was strong,

Until I flipped through our photos last night.

We were picture perfect.

I teared. I cried.

I'm sorry.

I still love you, as a friend.

Thank you for the love, Bby.

Salah Ke?

Bercinta...

Tetapi tidak tahu..

Memilih antara dua.

Arrrgh.

Lovelight

whhheeeee....! :)

World Wishes.

I wish...


things could be better for the world..

:/

Sad.

It's sad, so sad.
It's a sad sad situation.
And it's getting more and more absurd.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word- Elton John

Respect

Earn it, bitch.

But you dont see that.

Fuck.

Too Long

It's been too long since I left something here. Ok, that was dramatic.

I guess, there were not much to say..

BUT! I watched Backstreet Boys on the 28th of February!! :D that was awesome! i love love love them so so so much!

Anyways, school is driving me nuts. WORK is driving me CRAZY LOCO!! like shiiiyeeettt!! :( i need strength, guidance. please.

Sakit

Peritnya
Pedihnya
Bisanya

Sakit.

Gila

Serabut akal
Kacau bilau minda
Kucar kacir fikiran

Gila.

Temporary Heaven

I miss my old, dark self. I miss my angry self. I miss my unconfident self.




Do I really??


" Bawakan ku ke dunia khayalan
............
........
Yang kita rasa, hanya syurga sementara."

- F.U.M.I.K.N.A- Johny Comes Lately

Lagu di atas adalah tentang dadah. Tapi menurut tafsiran aku... cinta. ada 2 perkataan: ciptaan sialan. tp cinta bukan ciptaan sialan...ia membawa kita ke dunia khayalan... tapi.. syurga yang ada dlm alam percintaan, hanya syurga sementara. haiz...

EEEEWWWW...

Disgusting.

Seriously, Wheed.

Get a fucking life.

Talk

We need to talk.

Damn.

Sun, Sand, Sea

Officially a beach bum.

--

DCOFUSNE

GBINUNG

:(

Hate.

Lots of it in my heart.

Your species disgust me.

Yuck.

Sooo.. lets go lesbiannes!

Help

Aku MEMEKIK.
Aku MENJERIT.




TOLONG!

Hope

Hope is what kills us in the end.

SO ladies & gentlemen,


dont ever hope for anything at all.

not even one bit.

Opened

Serenaded me with a song.

Opened up my heart.

But I'm having my doubts.

arrgh.

Weekends

Loved them. Saturday, Sunday...

I wish it wouldnt be over.

Thanks you..

Horrible, Terrible.

It's just not me. I'm not good with aesthetics. I was never a good artist. I could never draw a person like a person; (stick figures, yes.. but not 2D people) what more decorate a classroom properly. Shit. i feel like a terrible teacher.

My mind is up on Saturday-school & gig.

And seriously, if you cant be bothered, so wont we. You forget us all because of ONE guy. you pratically shun us away, like we never existed.. you tell us, to go THROUGH your guy jes to contact you. what the hell do u take us for? what did you take our friendship for? if i were to follow my emotions, i'd say, GO EAT SHIT.

Here Nor There

I'm lost.

Do you ever feel lost?

Tonight is just one of those days. Again.

Please. Give me light to shine my way out of this darkness.

Ugh.

Frustrated

And all that's been desired
And all that's been hoped
Came crushing down
Like rubble & debris

Creating layers & layers
Of demolition
And stuck underneath
Is a cry of anger
Tinted with frustrations


I know, they have their own reasons. But in the first place, DONT plan an Asian tour or tour to many countries. dumbasses.

Fibres

Moonlight,
Sing loud for everyone
Sing loud for revolution
I'll remember...

Shine down,
For all the things I've done
For all these words unspoken
I'll remember...

Grieving bodies threw you down
Who are you fighting for?

Shout now
Before your words are drowned
Before your soul starts bleeding dry
I'll remember..

Fibres-Seven Collar Tshirt

Star Light, Star Bright

Star light
Star bright
The first star I see tonight

I wish I may
I wish I might

Star light
Star bright


How ironic it is... when the skies outside are shaded black?
Do I seek my solace and calamity in darkness, then?
Or do I prefer reaching out to something...
That is non existent?

Euphoric

1) Orientation @ Uni yesterday: t'was okay.. most of my classmates are older than me. hahah.. ONE cute stuff. :)


2) Today... went out with saz and 2 men: Hulk & Ayun. had lunch, and then we chilled at Al Majlis. had apple mint syisya. awesome shit. i love them much! thanks for making my day korang2! :)



Euphoric

I laid on a bed of thorns last night
Bled through pinholes in my body
Adrenaline...

I got up from the bed today
Felt the Sun on my face
My blood dried
A smile crept up
Euphoric.

Lost

I feel lost.

And i hate feeling lost.

I am afraid when i get lost.

With no sense of direction... no compass.

Please.. give me light..

Lari

Setapak dua kaki
Perlahan-lahan mengikis bumi
Mulanya menapak
Kemudian berjalan

Setapak dua kaki melangkah
Perlahan-lahan aku mendepang tangan
Membayangkan diri ini punya sepasang sayap
Yang akan bawa aku jauh ke angkasa

Terasa angin mencium pipi
Bertubi tubi
Apabila langkah semakin besar
Aku mula berlari
Berlari ke arah yang tiada penentu



Wheed.
14/1/10

Thoughts 1

I have nothing else to say.


I dont know why my heart's desire is not yet fulfilled. Empty.



Scared. of my own shadows, of my own smile, of my own aura, of my own confidence.

Terrified... of myself.. of what i have become.

*shivers*

Pada Senyumnya

Pada senyumnya ku lihat matahari
Pada senyumnya ku lihat bulan
Pada senyumnya ku rasa dingin
Pada senyumnya ku rasa kehangatan cinta

Pada senyumnya ku mengadu kasih
Pada senyumnya ku intai sayang
Pada senyumnya ku leraikan kusut
Pada senyumnya ku rasa bahagia.

Sayang sekali
Aku hanya mampu bermimpi
Buat waktu ini
Hanya pada senyumku sendiri
Aku berdepan dengan kehidupan

Wheed
10/01/10

Kelam

Celik
Namun aku
Hidup dalam gelap gelita

Angkara busuk
Angkara caci
Angkara hina.

Kelam.
Idamkan cahaya.

Is It So Wrong?

Alone by Edgar Allan Poe

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Poem taken off: http://famouspoetsandpoems.com/poets/edgar_allan_poe/poems/18851


Currently reading: Twilight by Stephanie Meyer.

Beauty

Too much commercialism is ruining natural beauty.

Everyone is beautiful, regardless of your size.

Because God made you.

2010

Hello fellow homosapiens! Happy New Year & Happy New Month. It's January 2010. Sheezzz.. Time dont wait for no man or woman does it?

Spent New Year Eve at home last night. sheeezz..

And now it's 2010. Everything is still the same.. i guess.. cept that i've been promoted. glug glug. Resolutions? What're those?

Oh yeah. I dont need anything else this year. I feel so loved. :)

Let go. Please.

Currently reading: Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom

I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her.
When Sorrow walked with me.

Robert Browning Hamilton




*Happy new year 2010 ppl. May God bless you all year thru!